The wife wakes her husband in the middle of the night complaining of a headache. The Sergeant Major heard the commotion and comes over and tears the young lieutenant a new asshole. âI am going to take a s--- in a box and send it to your parents for sending me theirs!â Source 2.) If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnât be enough to blow your hat off. These light-hearted insults are written to be purposely less disrespectful but still humorous to say. Ooo, Burn! 22 Sep 2014 | Posted by Military.com. Posted on May 28, 2015. The most Savage Insults It was very satisfying to watch and I learned that day that even though a 2nd lieutenant outranks a sergeant major, it really doesn't matter because the sergeant major had been in for 20 years and didn't put up with any [crap]. Never forget that in order to stand in front of your wide-eyed platoon, a drill sergeant must have achieved their current rank, earned a selection to drill-sergeant school (which usually requires multiple combat deployments), gone through the rigors of said school, and have endured many cycles before you. So, you shot 37/40 on your first try. Let me hear you squeak rat!" So I recently enlisted in the Army and leave for basic training in August followed by AIT in November at Fort Huachuca (I'm going to train to be a 35F). Lee came up with, I don't know, 150 pages of insults," Kubrick said. Theyâre the best burn jokes youâll find. List of the Funniest 75 Insults Ever Last Updated: 8th July 2020. ... You know the drill! You f*cking donkey. Pushups was always the punishment for breaking up. Military JOKES. Hartman (R.Lee Ermey) incensed at a transgression of barrack room rules in the 1987 film Full Metal Jacket. I'll tell you what is meant to run, dogs, cheetas, shit like that." Sergeant says to the recruit ... and says, "I'm a sergeant major, I've seen combat in every major conflict for the last 35 years, and I want the best goddamn hooker you've got in this place!" Hi! As my bunk mate was running back from the showers wearing nothing but a towel the DS screamed "Freeze, Recruit, Freeze". If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Read on to learn some of the best roasts and insults that will get you through a day where you donât feel like being as sweet as a Georgia peach. First Class Lisa M. Litchfield) 2. We would have to stop whatever we were doing. and. BuzzFeed Staff, UK. Drill Sergeant are you going to miss us?" A deaf couple check into a motel and go to bed early. Lee came up with, I don't know, 150 pages of insults." The 50 Best Insults From âVeepâ Season 5. The drill sergeant has a plan for that. Looking for good roasts for friends? 4. Future Soldier âOne of our warrant officers took my glasses, drew a crosshair on one of the lenses and introduced me as a âfuture soldierâ to a colonel who was inspecting our training.â However, they are all at your disposal, so feel free to use them at your discretion. Drill instructors are masters at dishing out tough love, and their ⦠The cooks started making the omelette when a drill sergeant asked what the hell was going on. 1.) ... 7 Best Mean Comebacks From Reddit. Sergeant Jokes. Youâre a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Searching for funny insults? -PV2 Smiley "Privates, it just goes to show you how redneck people in Missouri are. You're so ⦠R Lee Ermey plays iconic drill sergeant role in opening of Full Metal Jacket ... and we could see how they reacted. "The human body is not designed to run. You leave a messageâ¦.and I ignore it! Drill sergeant was yelling the whole time and woke everyone up. That's what they are for. While I was in recruit training, our platoon was getting âIncentive Trainingâ. 3. "Toe the f**king line" There's nothing out of the ordinary about "toeing the line." A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." Drill sergeant came in the barracks at 11 at night and caught a kid who had taken crackers back with him from dinner. Though recruits may find them funny, if they're caught smiling, laughing, or anything of the sort during training, theyâll be sure to be receiving some punishment. Gunnery Sergeant. Laugh like a maniac and shut jerks up with these really funny comebacks and insults. Youâre the reason God created the middle finger. The best you can hope for is that you've created better leaders than you were yourself. Reddit user nickcorvus remembers how a drill instructor yelled: "You're a communist plot to f--- up my Marine Corps." The F-4 was truly an amazing aircraft. The receptionist nods and leads him to one of the back rooms. Gentlemen, and I mean men in the loosest possible terms. R. Lee Ermey was a real-life drill instructor who was hired as the technical advisor on Full Metal Jacket, but he was so convincing, they just gave him the part. But does anyone here know any more good drill sergeant insults? by Alex Finnis. Even at the end of its service life, it was winning simulated air battles against the United Statesâ latest and greatest airframes, including the F ⦠Then he broke the crackers up in the kids bed and made the kid get back in bed, and saying, "We got a fucking pack-rat over here! ... a compendium of Veep Season 5 insults. (Photo by Sgt. Top 8 Funny Drill Instructor Commands. The 11 Best Rom-Coms For Men Who Hate Rom-Coms This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. âI am going to take a s--- in a box and send it to your parents for sending me theirs!â Source 2.) These insults are as brutal as they come, in the simplest of terms, they are not for the faint hearted. 'CREDIT: WARNER BROS. â ⦠Last night the porno shop was robbed and some guy stole 18 magazines. I do not remember the exact circumstances, but yes it was quite common to hear all kinds of comical insults. So, knock yourself out and enjoy. 2. The drill sergeant did this thing where they would yell "Freeze, Recruit, Freeze". The basic training soldier replied âgo around, drill sergeant, I'm waitin' on an omeletteâ. The best, by far, came from the sheer number of Soviet-built MiGs taken down by the plane. Future Soldier âOne of our warrant officers took my glasses, drew a crosshair on one of the lenses and introduced me as a âfuture soldierâ to a colonel who was inspecting our training.â The No Sh*t Truth About What Itâs Like To Be A Drill Instructor. What are some really good drill sergeant insults? 1.) 1. s14sher Report He came up with the insults himself, and his 'recruits' were never told what was coming. "Hell no Private I hate you!" By Lara Zarum. She asks him to go to the car to ⦠When thinking back to basic training, one of the fondest memories is usually remembering all of the hilarious phrases drill sergeants used when talking to recruits. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! Here's a few brutal insults to say to your best friends which are gonna roast them so bad. 25 Of Gordon Ramsay's Greatest-Ever Insults. You may use them on friends who do have hard skin and wouldnât get hurt easily by such words. Iâll tell you what happens and it isnât pretty. Here are some of the best deaf jokes weâve heard over the years: The Motel. The What happens if you insult and laugh at the drill instructors in military boot camp? Ooo, Burn! I've found a few funny ones, such as - I will duct tape your eyeballs onto the back of your head so you can watch me kicking your ****! Youâd laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. 150 pages of insults, '' Kubrick said in opening of Full Metal Jacket and! And it isnât pretty 's nothing out of the back rooms couple check into a Motel go... 'Ve created better leaders than you were yourself and caught a kid who had taken crackers back with him dinner. What the hell was going on the loosest possible terms out of the about! ' were never told what was coming than you were yourself them so bad them on friends do! ) incensed at a transgression of barrack room rules in the 1987 film Full Metal Jacket at 11 at and! Like that. the night complaining of a headache insults himself, and I mean in! 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