Dirty Talk. Even though some men get how painful these cramps can be, some really don't understand the pain a woman feels every month. Be an Advocate for Period-Positivity. Dont shower, dont brush your teeth, don't have any medical procedures. = "I bought some silky smooth toilet paper", It does not equal "wipe the sticky shit out of my anus the other day". -- Jade,* 22. But we modify our sex life around menstruation, not out of disgust on anyone’s part, just more for the comfort of whoever is on her period. How bloody is it, really? I mean, we wash it every time, but it's kind of like our sacrificial altar. A lot of what happens during sex in general is pretty strange. Talking about Periods isn't a big deal, it is important to know so you can deal with it accordingly. I'm not immature for being disgusting by comments like 'I got some really good tampons today.' This is the 5th one in a row that landed in my shop in PA from the Devon, PA Tesla location (if you work there and are by chance the one prepping these cars, please stop doing it with Biff's Sponge from back to the future. "The scent of ⦠Damon Dahlen/Huffington Post/Getty Images, Register for free to get the Insider newsletter, events and more. But what do guys really think about stretch marks? Susan: I think that people typically don’t understand how queer women have sex, so there’s always a lot of weird assumptions surrounding it. Basically, any discussion having to do with any bodily excretions is fucking disgusting and should never be had casually. Periods are awful, inconvenient, dirty, uncomfortable, excruciating, exhausting, and you aren't supposed to talk about them, which only makes it worse because you have to ⦠We asked our readers -- both women and men -- how they feel about period sex and how those feelings play out in their sex lives. For others...not so much. We've noticed that when I climax, the bleeding increases. Men do not know when women are menstruating- especially just from a glance at a stranger in the street. I would hate to think that anyone (and I know that some do) would feel the need to go through ⦠-- Margot, 22, and Matt, 22, Margot: We have a period towel. Basically, I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward, harnessing the unique energy and power of that time. Menstruation may be a basic bodily function, but it's loaded as hell in our culture. While having a heavy flow is relatively common (and most women tend to bleed more in the first few days), if you find yourself needing to change your pad or tampon more than every two to three hours, or if your period lasts longer than seven days, it's likely time to talk to a health care provider about your options. I distinctly remember coming home from school after they gave the puberty talk, and my mom told me that none of my younger sisters could know what I had just learned. 1. ... With periods (the muscle cramping) causes diarrhoea on those first 2 days and there's blood and shit pouring out of you. 1.3k. I don't fetishize it -- it's just a different kind of sex. Just like you want to feel wanted by a man, us guys, we also want to feel wanted by you. -- Sarah, 29. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. Susan: When we have sex and she’s on her period, I notice a very slight smell and taste that’s metallic, like iron. Since then, we haven't really talked about it. Usually women aren't being detailed about it. Tell him, with your words, what it is that you like and what you want him to do⦠It feels more playful. Weâve been forced to use rolled-up toilet paper upon discovering that our period just started. It's the scent of lust. It's one thing if someone's like, "Um, blood makes me queasy." It's still one of the most beautiful, connecting, sex-positive experiences I've ever had. Every serious partner I've had since then has also been OK with it. Sure its natural, when i have the flu im disgusted by the fleghm i cough up, i dont try to tell other people how beautiful and natural it is. Read on for some true tales of period sex. We took our clothes off, and she put my fingers, and her fingers, inside her vagina...and then we started finger painting on each other. One might feel ashamed if somebody catches one on the toilet. Michelle: I think there’s an expectation that queer female couples don’t have an issue with period sex at all -- or that they just never have sex. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. But for a lot of people, period stigma is a reality they live with every month. Someone on Reddit decided to ask men what they think period cramps feel like, and while some of the answers come close to describing the pain, others prove that some men need to do a lot more reading and listening to women . During that time, I focus on pleasuring her. Matt: We might as well only get one really dirty. Got a burning unpopular opinion you want to share? "I think there's an expectation that queer female couples don't have an issue with period sex at all." (Many of ⦠We would rendezvous in her studio. We just handle the mess by doing lots of laundry. When it’s my time of the month, I don’t really like to be touched — at least for the first day or two. I was never fully relaxed. One time she announced she had her period. It’s not a negative issue in my relationship, but it’s something my partner and I talk about and adjust to twice as much as the typical straight couple, yet we’re left out of the conversation. One time, we didn't know she was bleeding until I went down there, so we just laughed about it, I wiped her up, put a tampon in and kept going. 8. Chelsea: I'd never really done it before, but with her there was a serious emotional connection. The skin inside you sloughed off and basically turned into womb jam that sorta just leaks out of an area that women would like to be seen as sexual. Sally: We have sex, on average, two or three times a week, but we refrain from having penetrative sex during my period altogether. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. It was gorgeous. This translates into a sense of strength and security that men- and everyone you meet for that matter- will find incredibly reassuring and attractive. So is shitting. But if it's a lighter day, with no serious cramping on my end, we'll go for it! We pee in the shower. I get it. She's really the first consistent girlfriend I've had in my life, and one of the things that, I don't want to say it was a fear, but that I thought about, is what if our cycles aren't the same, and we don't have sex when we have our periods? I became sexually active at 15, but didn't have period sex until college. There Is Such A Thing As Too Much Flow. "I was initially put off by it more than he was." It didn't bother me. Well, they will probably make her feel fat for wanting to do such a thing. The first time I had period sex was actually with the first person I had sex with. No - if I start talking about my last great big shit in a public place, it's impolite. I think I was initially put off by it more than he was. "I think girls get mixed up because of how how people dress on TV," says Matthew. I absolutely hate when other women start talking about their periods. "I think of my period as a time when I'm really turning inward." Instead, ask. This might also explain why the men generally like watching erotic movies more than women; they get easily turned on by these visual cues. 5. In all honesty, no. PMS isnât your period. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. The amount of paint these Tesla's are shipped with is absolutely ridiculous. ), but there are unconscious differences in attraction during different times of a womanâs cycle. *Names with stars have been changed to protect anonymity. I remember one time we were having sex, and he was going down on me. A lot of the family planning laws in Judaism, and ideas about avoiding sex during menstruation, are steeped in patriarchal texts about impurities, but to me, I really read it as a much deeper message. -- Michelle,* 23, and Susan,* 25. That would mean not having sex for two weeks, and I'm not OK with that. Get over it mate. Here's how guys picture period cramps, according to Reddit. Men of Reddit, what do you think periods feel like? The bottom line -- if you think your flow is abnormally heavy, ask! So at the very least, talking to my husband about my period is a good form of punishment. ... we do ⦠"Every time I had my period, I felt like my body was doing something wrong." It's a natural thing. Remember, the worst thing you can do is ask and then not deliver. I was in an abusive relationship, and my ex-partner made me feel really ashamed and dirty about it. Basically, we're all a ⦠Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. We drew hearts and swirls and wrote each other's names. I openly announced that I had my period, and the guy was into it. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! 1. And I think we have an advantage over guys, because, you know, we're girls. To me it just seems like it's a thing that happens once a month, and Margot has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide. By then I was much more comfortable with my period because I had talked about it with friends and read articles that reassured me it is OK. Her period is heavy, and just makes her disinterested in sex. See how ridiculous that is? Period sex is not really a spontaneous thing for us, because there is some cleaning up we do to be ready for it. Bushy, bald, long, short, curly or straight - we love pubes in all their glorious variety. True confidence is something you wear, not something you have to explain or feel the need to defend. When I was 19 years old, I met an artist who was 10 years older than me and we had a wildly passionate affair. To have to do that would just be incredibly unfair, IMO. It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. This whole idea that if a man is disgusted by it he is immature is bull. Tom: I haven't always been comfortable with periods, but I've definitely grown up about it. It was a fantasy he had always had. I couldn't tell you if he was really comfortable with it, or if we were just super horny teenagers [laughs]. She told me that when I did start my period, I would have to hide my feminine products -- even my razors -- somewhere in the bathroom so my brothers wouldn't see them. I do know that I feel better after I cry, so I can appreciate what might be appealing to people about that wrung-out lightness that comes after a good bout of ⦠©2020 Verizon Media. 6. I kind of forget that some people are really disgusted by it. These accounts have been edited and condensed. They're natural, but they're as disgusting as any other fluid-related bodily function. "They just assume that everyone's [period] is this way." I know people are grossed out by it, and I guess I kind of get it. Like, just a few weeks ago I was in an elevator with a co-worker who is basically my age, and he kept asking me where I was going so I finally jangled my change for the tampon machine. The first time I did have period sex, I was drunk. It’s definitely messier then, but I’ve never cared. If you've got the tampon in, it's no big deal. She usually wants to avoid receiving anything, including oral, during her period. But after that, it helps with the cramps. Not consciously (unless sheâs free bleeding or leaking, in which case she needs to get to the bathroom! It just feels more natural for both of us not to do it then. Close. I see that as more of a thing to do around ovulation, which is when I feel like I really want sex. Sexuality begins in his mind. But we really need to kill this whole idea that periods are unnatural and disgusting. We both shower off afterwards, so we don't look like we've murdered anyone with our genitals. I really DO NOT want to hear so much detail about anyone and I find it extremely rude when women talk about these stuff in public, especially in mixed company. It's about giving my body that restful time. I'd never had sex on my period before, with either men or women. For the first day or two, it's probably not going to happen because I have dysmenorrhea and am in excruciating pain. Some partners think it's a total turn on. "She has to deal with it, so there's no reason why I should run away and hide." One Reddit user's post suggests that women do. Extra gross points for those who go the whole day like this due to being busy/in class/working. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the unpopularopinion community. I grew up in a small town where conservative politics and religion are deeply ingrained in the culture. Read on to find out! Honestly, I think it took me being drunk that first time to be OK with it -- but it's something I've been comfortable with ever since. But if someone's like, "Blood in general is fine, but when it comes from a vagina it's disgusting," that's ridiculous. Girls have suddenly started their first period out somewhere, they would need to talk about getting a pad. Because things like urine and faeces are already widely regarded as disgusting. There's also a small chance that heavy flow is a sign of menorrhagia, a term used to define periods that are so intense, they keep a woman from doing her usual activities. Talking to Your Husband About Your Period Cramps. When you have sex with a man, someone else's body part is literally inside your body. Jordan: If we do want penetration, we'll perform oral sex first, then take the tampon out and do that. He did once get a bit grossed out -- and concerned -- when he saw clots coming out while we were having sex, but so long as we talk about these things openly with each other, we're golden. Like, it's our own secret "gross" thing we do, I guess? Ironically, the less you try to sell yourself, the more confident you'll naturally come across. He grabbed a handle of whiskey and washed his mouth out in front of me. Honestly humans are disgusting we're nothing but sacks of meat liquids and goos and there is no getting around that. -- Yvonne, 29. Those moments right before you do it for the first time, when you know itâs about to happen, are really exciting! Having said that, he didn't want to talk about it for this article. It just made me feel so dirty that my boyfriend was basically sterilizing himself because of me. Men around the world have been known to throw out, âAre you on your period?â at the most inopportune moment. But I also don't think there's anything somehow repulsive about it. -- Sally, 38, and Diego,* 45. The thing is, having sex during my period actually helps me. Diego: It's just nicer to wait. That would mean not having sex for two weeks." You change your tampon, shower, and you're fresh and ready to go. We drew hearts and swirls." Today is National Voter Registration Day! Unless they are talking about the amount of blood and the leakage, you are the problem in this scenario. I've had sex with previous partners while I had my period, but I never enjoyed it. There seems to be a similar double standard where it's (rightfully) considered disgusting to discuss urinal and/or fecal movements, especially whilst eating, but so many mothers have it in their head that this is perfectly acceptable when it's about the piss or shit of a young child or pet (no, I really don't need to know about how my cousin shit her panties and the floor, let alone in great detail, mom). You can feel a dehydration headache coming on, so you drink a pint of water with your painkillers and start making yourself some hot chocolate. I used to have very light (to moderate) periods with no cramping or pain, but now, as my body adjusts, they're longer, more unpredictable, and painful. 5. Fortunately, it's not a problem for us. I really don't feel comfortable having sex during my period, because I just don't feel attractive or sexy. NOT having a period (if you're a woman) is a sign of a problem which could result in infertility, so while you guys are all out there like "ew periods are gross why do they exist why can't you women just be properly ashamed of them", think of how that sounds to a young, impressionable girl who is already freaked out by the fact that there's blood coming out of her girl parts. So when it was such a positive, casual experience with Matt, it was so healing for me. "I got some really good tampons today." But there was a stretch in my early 20s when I was single and dating a lot and I definitely noticed it was an issue for some guys. Vomit is natural. I mean, sure, if you're having a loud conversation about it in the middle of a public area, that's...weird. Was such a positive, casual experience with Matt, 22,:. Margot, 22, and Diego, * 23, and Matt it! 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